Category Archives: Fun

My modeling career as a Mexican

When I was a little kid still living in Memphis, my dad worked in advertising. One time he used my sister Catherine and I as models for a photo he took for a Pepsi ad. The art guy then painted me as a Mexican in the ad. Considering I now live in Mexico, it’s sort of funny. This ran in the Memphis newspaper in the early ’80s:

Hugh Gallagher’s college application essay

This one just for fun:

The following essay has been floating around on the internet for years. I thought of it Sunday night at a staff fellowship we had and shared it with a few GFMers. You can get the straight story from the Wikipedia entry, but basically, this essay was actually submitted by a guy named Hugh Gallagher when he applied to New York University.

Those who have seen the No Touchey Kung Fuey dorm cleanup skit on a mission trip with GFM may remember that one of Bubba’s talents is baking 30 Minute Brownies in 20 minutes. I got that line from this essay. Enjoy!




I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.

Old school Newsboys

Those who know me well know that I’ve been a pretty big Newsboys fan for a number of years now.  Most people started getting on the Newsboys bandwagon around the time of the Not Ashamed album or the Going Public album (with the song “Shine”), if not later.  What not everyone knows is that they actually released three albums before Not Ashamed: Read All About It, Hell Is for Wimps, and Boys Will Be Boyz.  And I’ve also heard that even before those they released an album in Australia that never came out in the U.S., called Revenge of the Wombat, or something similarI’m not positive about that one, though.

I was poking around on YouTube, really hoping to find one of their rap songs off of Boys Will Be Boyz.  If you haven’t heard the Newsboys try and rap, it’s hilarious!  I didn’t find any of their rap, but I did find a good old school song called “Kingdom Man” off of Boys Will Be Boyz.  Yes, that was Peter Furler on the drums back in those days.  This was when John James was still the lead singer, for those who remember him.

YouTube Preview Image

Can you figure out what this is?

Readers, this post is created for your participation! 

Our apartment takes up the second story of the building we live in.  The photo below is of an object we found earlier today hanging up in a corner underneath our balcony.  Can you figure out what it is?  Leave a comment and give us your best guess!  This time we’re giving three points to whoever figures it out.

Oh, and if you live in Oaxaca, you’re not allowed to guess…sorry guys.

Mystery object

What irony

Cerveza Sol (Sun Beer) here in Mexico has been running its Qué Ironía (What Irony) ad campaign for quite some time. The idea behind the campaign is how ironic it is that when the Sun comes out the temperature drops, everyone gets refreshed, etc. So they have a lot of billboards that highlight ironic situations. Here is one of the funnier billboards in the campaign:

What irony!

Only in Arkansas…

My dad wrote the following email and gave me permission to post it here.  (Our family originally hails from the South):

What [your aunt] calls “the Memphis factor” is much too widespread to be identified with only that city.  However, I do believe it’s especially evident in the South.  A good example occurred yesterday when a friend of a friend here in Little Rock had a “going away” party for a lady in her office.  One of their supervisors called the Little Rock Wal-Mart and ordered the cake.

He told them to write:

“Best Wishes Suzanne” and underneath that write “We will miss you”.

The attached picture shows how the cake turned out..

I’ll spare you my analysis.

 Arkansas Cake

sMOOth operator

Every month at our mission base, we have a big birthday party to celebrate all the people who have birthdays that month.  The parties are wild affairs, usually involving costumes and crazy games and contests.  In the spirit of good fun, I usually put some work into my costume for each month’s party.  This surprises some people.  Apparently, I come across as the serious type, supposedly not given to much silliness.

So for our September birthday party we had a hoedown–the type of thing that often happens in a barn, if I’m not mistaken.  I, therefore, dressed up as a cow.  Not just any cow, but a cool cow.  Here are some pictures:

sMOOth operator

     Today’s marketing is all about choice…

We were broken up into teams for this party, and one of the contests we had was to put together some sort of a skit themed according to our team’s costumes.  On my team we had a couple of guys who are pretty good rappers, so we did a rap about a backwoods Arkansas cow that moved to L.A. and turned into a gangsta in the ‘hood.  The best part was that the cow became a Christian, too, so it started doing cool stuff like giving its milk away.  It was good stuff; we had a fun time with it.  Bet you’ve never seen a cow do the ‘worm’ before!

(Bonus: Two points for anyone who can leave a comment correctly explaining what’s wrong with my costume.)